I love this idea that you are the story you tell about yourself. To quote one of my favorite movies Love Actually, “it covers all manner of sins” [and I would add: consequence].
If our relationship with ourselves is rooted in the quality of our thoughts about ourselves, then we need to be intimately close to what those thoughts are.
When I first start working with an athlete often they will tell me that they’ve tried repeating random positive affirmations to try to push away negative self talk in the past. Most often it will work, but only for a short time.
Here’s why: the brain requires training like an other muscle in your body. Would you run 1 mile and then assume you could run a whole marathon? Nope! You’ve got to go beneath the surface and beyond that first mile.
You can’t cover up negative self talk with a blanket of positive affirmations. There is no true substance there.
You have to understand the story you tell yourself about yourself.
Here’s one of my favorite exercises:
Write down (like really write! get it out of your head and on paper!) the story you currently tell about yourself. No judgements, just write. And noone needs to read it except you. When you’re coming up with the story, think about these questions:
Who are you?
What kind of athlete are you?
What are your best athletic characteristics? What are your worst?
What can you do?
What can’t you do?
What do you currently believe you’re capable of?
Write it all out and then read it over a few times. It should feel familiar as it contains the story you experience on repeat in your brain. This story will exemplify some firm beliefs you have about yourself because beliefs are simply thoughts we think over and over again.
Next, write the story you WANT to tell about yourself. This will likely be a bit harder because you’re asking your brain to stretch beyond those comfortable (read: practiced!) thoughts. But do it anyway.
Start with this question:
How do you want to feel?
And then when you land on the true feeling you want to feel, hold onto it while answering the same questions as above:
Who are you?
What kind of athlete are you?
What are your best athletic characteristics? What are your worst?
What can you do?
What can’t you do?
What do you believe you’re capable of?
The story we tell ourselves is just that…a STORY. A collection of thoughts that are all optional. If you want to truly get beneath the surface and create lasting change, take time to understand your current story. From there, decide how you want to FEEL. The feeling is key because all action is rooted in feeling.
When you know the feeling you want, you are able to write the story you want to tell about yourself from a place of truth.
Doubt does not serve you here and confidence thrives here.
Try this out and please share your experience with me!
