I used to think I wasn’t good enough.
I wasn’t fast enough.
I wasn’t slim enough to be faster.
I wasn’t experienced enough.
I wasn’t strong enough.
An excerpt straight from one of my 2016 blogs:
I gave up the story that I'm not strong enough to compete at a higher level.
This was a heavy load to carry & it was time to let it go. Cause ain't nobody got time for that.
I had to give it up because it showed up everywhere:
I wasn’t organized enough to run someone else’s business.
I wasn’t creative enough to create my own business.
I wasn’t attractive enough to attract the right guy.
I wasn’t fast enough to qualify for Kona.
I just wasn’t enough.
The truth is that every single one of us is enough…we are whole and worthy as we are without changing a thing. But sometimes that truth is buried under layers (aka years!) of seeking validation.
I didn’t grow up playing sports, in fact…I did quite the opposite. Where are all of my fellow youth court and speech and debate peeps at?
In college, I made a complete shift to the world of rowing and that’s where my love affair with competitive sport began.
But all along I was grooming the belief that I wasn’t good enough.
In high school, I chose speech and debate because I was afraid of rejection on sports teams. In college, I didn’t think I could ever be good enough to race in the top boat so I never quite reached my potential as a rower.
And then that belief followed me to triathlon. For nearly 10 years, I settled and kept my goals small because I believed I wasn’t good enough. Ten. Years.
I won’t lie, I’m not completely void of it, but now I am aware of it and that makes all of the difference. Now I expose it for what it is: a sentence in my mind. A choice. A sentence that I choose to think.
As humans, we’re meant to maximize our time and potential on this earth – to be who we want to be. To push boundaries and thrive in ways that make us feel alive. As triathletes, we’ve chosen the container of amazing endurance events to challenge our potential. The requirement is that we put in the work beneath the surface of swimbikerun.
Because beneath the swimbikerun, missed intervals, paces not hit, distances not covered, races not finished, expectations not met is a series of deep-seated beliefs. Beliefs that don’t have to be true.
For me it was believing I wasn’t good enough. It may be different for you.
But whatever it is, uncover it. Dig it up. Expose it. Show it the sunshine. Thank it Marie Kondo style and then let it go.
Continuing to believe it will only create more of the same results you currently have. Ain’t nobody got time for that because you’ve got boundaries to push, potential to reach and a whole lot of fun to have along the way.
