The Self Coaching Model teaches us that every action is triggered by a feeling or an emotion. That means that aside from our thoughts, the next most powerful line in The Model is the feeling line.
As children, no one teaches us how to experience emotions, understand emotions or talk about emotions. We end up locked in a grid of sad, mad, happy or glad.
Think about the last time someone asked you, “how are you?” Was your answer a descriptive word for the exact emotion you were experiencing? Or a generic “good” then an explanation as to why?
So often we bypass the opportunity to really tap into and describe what we feel. Again, because most of us never have. But, learning to distinguish between different feelings or emotions is a very important part of personal growth.
Expanding our emotional vocabulary allows us to not only experience emotions deeper now, but live from the future and tap into who we want to be. Remember, My Future Story? That is me living from the future and tapping into a chosen emotion of fulfilled. I am fueled by that emotion now even though I have not lived into that future story yet. That’s the power of emotions, they are all available to us right now. Emotions don’t come from having more money in the bank, being married, having kids, getting a promotion or winning a race. They come from our thoughts so any and all emotions can be experienced at any time with the right thought.
Living fully now and living into a future that does not exist requires that we take the time to feel emotions and describe them accurately. This is a helpful tool to use in the process of learning to name emotions:
So my challenge to you is this: next time someone asks you “how are you?” Steer clear of “good” “fine” “ok” or anything similar. Instead, work to expand your emotional vocabulary and notice what changes for you. I know I’d rather share that I’m inspired over plain good any day. But I’d also rather share that I’m vulnerable over just ok.
Expanding your emotional vocabulary gets easier when you understand one simple secret about feelings or emotions. Buckle up, I’ll share in my next post.
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE A PERFORMANCE MINDSET?
