I had a pretty emotional call with my life coach yesterday. Not at all what I was expecting.
I’ve been using this time in quarantine to my advantage - learning new things (hello Facebook live!), signing new coaching clients and doing some much needed planning on where I want to take my business (that entrepreneur life!). Literally for the last 3 weeks, it’s been business, business, business (with a side of strengthbikerun training). I barely missed a beat..I just put my head down and went to work.
That’s who I am. I look for what I have (time and passion) and get to work. I did have a few moments here and there when I motivation waned in workouts, but if you were to glance at my iCal…you’d see solid 8-10 hour work days with triathlon training on either side. Bonus: everyday included an I’m-ready- for- work shower too! Whaaaaaat?
That was up until yesterday.
Yesterday, I had a 12 hour day planned. WTF.
I went a little overboard. And my brain and body knew it by hour 3. So I gave myself grace and adjusted the remainder of the day.
Days like these are so so important to pay attention. Yes, there are a lot of things happening in the world. But what’s really happening in your little world? Specifically, the world between your two ears. That’s the check I gave myself.
I was a mess because I’d hit a wall and didn’t even know it. Scratch that…I body slammed the wall and was completely oblivious.
I had to tune in. I had to literally stop and ask myself: what’s the matter, love? With compassion and no expectation.
It was refreshing. And then a little scary because a lot came up.
I learned that if I’m going to ask, I better brace for the answer!
In this pause, I’ve realized I have an emotional resistance to looking back on the past. This all came up because I truly want to share more about me, who I am and my triathlon journey, but I find myself thinking don’t know where to start and questioning if it’s even relevant. I question that, yet I know the answer. I know because I love stories…we all do! And I connect with people so much more when I know more about them. Even if there are people who don’t care… if one person is inspired, then it’s worth it for me.
What I didn’t know until today is that the process of accessing my past and story will be pretty transformative for me too.
There is so much good in my past, I am a lucky girl. But there’s pain too. All of it has shaped me into who I am today. And for that reason, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’ve been in the sport of triathlon for 13 years. In those 13 years, I’ve raced 5 Ironman races, 2 marathons, 10-15 Half Ironman races and countless shorter distance races. I’ve also lost my dad and my best friend, moved 4 times, and changed career directions 4 times. So much change, but the constant throughout has always been triathlon.
I think I am drawn to endurance sport because it demands patience, presence and comfort in the empty moments. That has served me well in sport and other areas of my life, yet it has kept me from doing the necessary work of looking back to look forward.
Here’s to changing that.
Cheers to owning our story yesterday, today and tomorrow. Cheers to taking a pause when it’s needed. And cheers to the damn good work life coaches put into the world because I needed mine today.
