The reason you're quitting

The first thing I want to say on the topic of quitting is this: nothing has gone wrong. The reason quitting feels so terrible is not because of the actual quit, it’s because of the shame we wrap around it.

Robin Sharma says, “sometimes we need to lose our way to find our way.” Sometimes we need piles and piles of microquits to lead to a full blown quit to make us more aware.

Because here’s the deal: we’ve all been in that place where the pressure and weight of it all feels like too much. There seems like only one option…to quit, hide and make it all stop.

Interestingly, this can happen during a fight with your partner or in a hard training session. It’s in sport and life, life and sport.

There is comfort in quitting. The relief that comes from quitting is enough to overcome the initial desire we had in the first place. Comfort becomes the release, the goal and the culprit. Because the shame shit storm we feel post quitting is way worse than the quit itself.

And if you’re thinking, “I don’t shame myself. I always support my own decisions.” Then I want to challenge you that you just feel wholly justified. But doing something other than what you said you would do is quitting.

Second reminder: nothing has gone wrong.

There is no need to throw around labels like “quitter.” You have just succumbed to the behavior of quitting because you have a human brain. And that brain loves comfort and efficiency more than anything.

The real reason you’re quitting is because that comfort you seek feels better than whatever-emotion-you-felt-before-you-quit. Or the emotion you anticipated feeling.

For me…it’s usually the inevitable disappointment. The “there’s no way I can finish this set of intervals, I’m dying already” narrative drives my storyline. And I don’t even give myself the chance. I disappoint myself ahead of time trying to avoid the assumptive disappointment.

Quitting stops us in our track to success. But really what stops us, is the “need” to block or suppress emotion.

I use the word “need” here lightly because it feels like a need in the moment, but it’s actually driven by our brain wanting comfort. We want to want the quitting to stop, but….

Every microquit can be traced back to an emotion you did not want to feel. Every time. Without fail.

Try it.

And then try asking yourself these questions:

Why am avoiding this emotion?

What is this emotion telling me?

If I am separate from my emotion, what can I learn here?

If nothing has gone wrong, how can I quit less and feel more?

Guess what? This is what I do with my clients. We peel back the layers of quitting, expose the emotions for what they are then get to work (literally…we get back to training!) open to feeling all of the emotions. And when all emotions are welcome, no emotions are feared, you are unstoppable. Let’s set up a 1:1 consult call. Click here to experience the power of coaching.